My mentor - Vamik Volkan

In March 2023, I was in the USA with my son – visiting my best American friend and family, his godparents…

Besides many personal highlights, there was one that was both personal and professional. I met up again with my mentor and companion Vamik Volkan and his wonderful wife Betty.

I met Vamik in 1998 as a young student in Cologne. I was working as a student assistant for the PAKH eV (Psychoanalytic Working Group for Intergenerational Consequences of the Holocaust), was able to participate in intervision sessions, accompany Vamik to the jointly organized congress, and absorbed his knowledge. Here was a psychoanalyst who embraced the bigger picture in his practice. He reflected on the impact of individual experiences on political decisions, worked with politicians, and integrated other professional groups into his thinking and work—a peace activist… yes, a role model. What I appreciate so much about Vamik is that he enjoys exchange, he enjoys discussion, he can think both small and large, he loves life and savors every moment, and he allows the people around him to grow. As you can tell, I'm a fan…

Our paths kept crossing; I visited him as a young student in his transdisciplinary project "Study of human mind and interaction" in Charlottesville, and he visited me in my project "Children in Crisis" in Cape Town. Besides wonderful supervisory exchanges on the transgenerational transmission of traumatic experiences in South Africa, and visits to the schools where I worked therapeutically, we reflected on my role as a white migrant in Cape Town. But an absolute highlight was a conversation between Vamik, Mbuyi, and me.

Mbuyi is a traditional healer, part of the Xhosa culture, my teacher in a world so foreign to me at the time, the grandmother of the baby from my two-year baby observation as part of my training – and so we sat for hours one afternoon on the floor in Mbuyi's hut in Langa and talked about perception, about the meaning of dreams, understanding symptoms – me, the young child and adolescent psychiatrist, with two people who, in terms of age, were easily my parents, in terms of wisdom at least my grandparents, and who, with a loving, critical eye, naturally also spoke about me unashamedly…

Vamik came to Hamburg several times in the following years, spoke at the University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf (UKE), led workshops as part of our Peace Summer School at the University of Hamburg, and he and Betty always found time for coffee and wine with me. And now, a reunion in Charlottesville. Vamik, now 91 years old, and in what felt like 35-degree heat, we talked about analysis and EMDR, about articles we still wanted to write, about summers in Cyprus, about the cycle of violence, about the identity of large groups, about developments in Germany, and about the Corona identity – filled with inspiration and a deep sense of appreciation, and once again with a bag full of Vamik's books, I said goodbye to them both. What a gift to have these people in my life.

To mark his 91st birthday, a book was published by colleagues from the IDI family (International Dialogue initiative) – alongside “Failure of Diplomacy” another great book to get started with the topic: “Large Group Identity and Collective Trauma” – such an important topic for therapists.